Defiance, Loopholes, and Shadow Obedience

As kids, we were all taught to obey the rules. If you disobey the rules or other instructions, you will face the consequences. We may be familiar with what it means to defy the rules or exploit loopholes in the rules, but if you never heard of shadow obedience, it’s a term that I made up, where you follow the rules, but you are still selfish.

So first, we have defiance, or disobedience. Disobedience is simply breaking the rules, but defiance is willfully breaking the rules. When they say to keep your hands and feet to yourself, hitting other people is breaking the rules. When they say do not swear, using a bad word is breaking the rules. When they say not to steal, stealing from other people is breaking the rules. We also have the law, where breaking that will get you sent to jail (or face a lawsuit, depending on the type of offense). Robbing a bank will get you sent to jail, while racial discrimination in the workplace will get you sued.

The next is loopholes. A loophole is an ambiguity in the rules where you follow the rules, but you’re still doing something that isn’t allowed. Basically, you’re defying the purpose of the rules. Rules exist for a reason. Any attempt to follow the rule, but defy the purpose of the rule, goes against the very reason.

So here’s a question. You go to a restaurant, which has good service and good food, despite being expensive. But there’s one rule besides the minimum requirements as a customer: you are not allowed to talk about politics or religion. What do you do?

A. Talk about Donald Trump’s job as president.

Wrong! You are not allowed to bring up politics or religion in the restaurant. This topic is definitely a political topic, which needs to stay out of the restaurant.

B. Talk about the Astros’ sign-stealing scandal.

Wrong! Although this is neither religious nor political, it’s still a controversial topic. You may have avoided political discussions, but you still have provoked an argument from a nearby table, which is exactly what the manager is trying to prevent.

C. Don’t talk politics; I don’t want to get in trouble.

Wrong! It’s good that you are willing to follow the rules. But, it’s bad that you’re doing it merely to stay out of trouble. This is very selfish, and by doing that, you’re defying the very reason why political discussions are forbidden.

D. Don’t talk politics; It will upset others.

Correct! Not only are you following the rule, but you’re also understanding why the rule exists in the first place. Because if politics were allowed discussion, you still wouldn’t talk about it.

If you clicked “B”, that is an example of a loophole. Other examples of loopholes include eating candy when they tell you not to eat fast food, fighting outside when they tell you not to fight inside, using online resources to do your math homework when they tell you not to copy other peoples’ homework, and cutting back full-time jobs to avoid paying for health insurance. But these examples are not loopholes: buying fast food with your money when parents won’t buy fast food for you, playing with Legos when they tell you not to play video games except during the weekend, and having a pet fish or turtle when they tell you that cats or dogs aren’t allowed in the house.

And then there’s shadow obedience. That is when you follow the rules or instructions, but you do it in a way that would hurt them. If you still don’t understand what it means, here are some examples:

• During the COVID-19 pandemic, a shop required all customers to wear a mask. Anyone who isn’t wearing a mask isn’t allowed in the shop. So you wear a mask with a Confederate flag pattern.
• The city tears down a monument of a Confederate soldier and asks you to replace it with a statue of a historical figure that is neither a Nazi or a Confederate soldier. So you place a statue of Timothy McVeigh to replace the Confederate statue.
• A city put a ban on plastic bags for being single-use plastics, then banned cloth bags to prevent the spread of COVID. So all you’re left with are paper bags. You decided to call the only allowed grocery bags left “brown bags” (which is offensive since it alludes to a test used to discriminate against African Americans).
• Your parents refuse to let you watch your favorite TV show since it’s not one of the few TV shows allowed in their household. Instead of watching one of the parent-approved TV shows, you decided not to watch any TV at all.
• Your parents are threatening to kick you out of their house if you don’t show up and vote. So you ended up voting for the exact opposite party that your parents were supporting.

So basically, you’re listening to them, but not in the way they want you to listen to them. Sometimes, this could result in breaking another rule. Like the shop that required people to wear masks; before they enforced a mask mandate, they put a ban on hate symbols, so if you were wearing a Confederate flag mask to comply with the mask mandates, you’re breaking another rule to follow one rule.

Film producers and game developers do this a lot to the executives, usually as a swipe at them. Remember Spiderman 3 (2007)? The corporation wants to have Venom (one of the villains) in the movie, but the director hated Venom and didn’t want him in the movie. Because of this, the director hired the worst actor to play Venom. Remember when South Park killed off Kenny. Within the first five seasons, Kenny died a lot. After one season of being absent, Comedy Central wanted the creators to bring back Kenny, going against their wishes. They did, but by minimizing the number of deaths he has per season, and now there’s more than a few seasons where Kenny doesn’t die at all. It’s like this. You tell them what you want, they give it to you, but not in the way you wanted it.

Example – Reading a Book vs Watching TV:

Now that I went over what each means, let’s go over examples of simple disobedience, exploiting loopholes, and shadow obedience in two different scenarios. The first one is about a ban on watching TV.

So let’s say that you are a kid at a parent’s house. They allowed their children to watch TV and play video games, but there is a strict one-hour limit of watching TV per day, even on the weekends. The restriction applies to video games too. And if you get into a fight with other kids or get bad grades in school, you won’t be allowed to watch TV. Therefore, you are compliant in the rules. You don’t fight your two younger brothers over the TV, you do your homework before watching TV, and you study every day. Despite sticking to the one-hour limit, getting good grades, and not fighting your brothers over the TV, your parents decided to ban you from watching TV for two weeks. Not because you did end up breaking the rules, but because you were obsessed with a particular TV show. Even if you don’t watch too much TV, you still talk about the show too much. So your parents decided that TV isn’t the right fit for you.

As you are banned from watching TV, they ask you to read a book every day. It cannot be related to the TV show in order to count, and it can’t be a textbook either. For each day you miss, there’s one extra day added to your TV ban. And you cannot talk about the TV show either.

Disobedience:

The following would be considered disobedience:

• Watching TV or playing video games during the two-week ban
• Talking about the TV show or something similar
• Watching TV on the 17th day since the ban started when you have missed three days of reading

Loopholes:

The following would be considered looopholes:

• Watching internet videos or watching TV at someone else’s house
• Staying on the same page of a book or skipping through pages without reading
• Reading a comic book or graphic novel as your choice of book

Shadow Obedience:

The following would be considered shadow obedience:

• Reading a children’s book as your choice of book
• Reading books that your parents don’t want you reading (such as The Communist Manifesto in a conservative household)
• Reading a book that contains extremist or harmful material

The first two examples, as well as the fourth example, are quite obvious. The rest, I can explain what’s wrong:

• The third example is an example of how a punishment adds up. While the ban lasts two weeks, there is a condition where if you missed one day of reading a book, another day is added to your ban. Since you missed three days, you are banned from watching TV for 17 days. So by watching TV on the 17th day, you’re still breaking the rules. But if you only missed two days or less, or haven’t missed a single day at all, watching TV on the 17th day since the ban started won’t count as disobedience. Just remember not to obsess about the show next time.
• Reading a book may involve looking at the text or turning pages, but if you’re just looking at pages without paying attention and just turning, that’s not reading. It’s also not reading if you simply stay on the same page all the time. If your parents find out that you’re doing this, it won’t count.
• Reviewing the sixth and seventh examples, there’s a reason why comic books are a loophole, but children’s books are not. Because comic books, although they are printed as books, technically aren’t books. When your parents want you to read a book, it needs to be more text. Comic books are less text and more pictures. Children’s books are only a problem because they are way below your level, but it depends on your age. If you’re an elementary school student, no problem. But if you’re a middle school student or high school student, you need to read a book that’s at your level, and childrens’ books aren’t at your level.
• The eighth and ninth examples are the true examples of shadow obedience. Although they count as books that you can read to get your TV privileges back, these are the kinds of books that your parents would dread if you read them. The Communist Manifesto, if you’ve been raised by right-winged parents, this is exactly what they don’t want you reading. You obeyed the rules, but you have gone against your parents.

Example – School Essay:

So let’s say that you’re in English class, and they want you to write an essay that covers your skills. For instance, if the class just went over Comparison/Contrast, you’ll have to write an essay that focuses on comparison/contrast. You agree with writing an essay based on technique, having five paragraphs with at least eight sentences per paragraph, and to use the font they ask you to write the essay in. However, there’s one factor that would turn you off from writing the essay. You have to write an essay about the topic given, even when the topic isn’t part of the technique. The topic of the Cause/Effect essay is “understanding other peoples’ feelings”. Not only did you want to write freely, but you hated the topic provided. But the teacher is very stern about it. If you write an essay that isn’t using the Cause/Effect technique, or you write an essay about any topic other than the topic provided, you will get a zero grade.

Disobedience:

The following would’ve gotten you a failing grade:

• You write a one-paragraph essay rather than a five-paragraph essay like the teacher asked you to.
• You don’t even focus on the Cause/Effect format.
• The topic of the essay isn’t about understanding other peoples’ feelings.

Loopholes:

The following would’ve gotten you a passing grade, but you still didn’t properly follow the instructions:

• There are at least eight sentences per paragraph and five paragraphs, but the sentences are very short.
• Only of the paragraphs uses the Cause/Effect technique.
• You write about understanding other peoples’ feelings, but that wasn’t the main focus of the essay.

Shadow Obedience:

The following would’ve gotten you a passing grade, but you still have upset the teacher:

• Your essay is filled with misinformation on the topic.
• You made the topic about how the teacher should understand your feelings about not writing freely.
• The essay was inappropriate or offensive.

All nine of these examples are examples of how not to write a school essay, especially if it’s crucial for getting a passing grade.

• The first three examples show that you haven’t followed the instructions. The teacher is very stern about how many paragraphs there are, how many sentences there are in one paragraph, the fact that you must write about causes and effects, and that the topic is about understanding others’ feelings. If you can’t write about that, you won’t get a grade higher than a zero, which could result in failing the class.
• The next three examples defy the purpose of the instructions. If the sentences are short, you defied the purpose of having more sentences per paragraphs and more paragraphs – which is to have more information on the topic. If the Cause/Effect part was in only one paragraph, then the essay really isn’t about causes and effects. And if the essay is supposed to be about other peoples’ feelings, that needs to be the main topic, not a side topic.
• The last three examples are rather personal attacks against the teacher, which could result in an office referral and/or a detention. If it was filled with misinformation, you may have followed the topic of the essay, but whatever you said is not true. If it was about the teacher, you have basically hurt her feelings. And if it was inappropriate, there’s a chance you could get a failing grade despite following instructions.